KEEPING UP APPEARANCES

I don't wear my glasses when I run.  There are a few practical reasons.  A few impractical too - actually irrational is a better word.  It all works for me though.  


I don't wear them firstly because they are cumbersome and seem to jiggle too much.  If there's any jiggling on my person I CAN control, I shall.  I also somehow believe that if I can't see clearly, other people can't see me lumbering about town.  Besides, when I shed my glasses, I can only see the Big Picture more clearly.  The river, the scenery, the neighborhoods become an entity rather than a series of smaller details.  Much like my quest for change, where I don't want to become overwhelmed with the details, I can only see each step ahead of me without my glasses.  When I look further, I see cohesive beauty.


When following the Podrunner tracks, I use the century-old alleyways in town to spare the public the image of my rubenesque figure enduring short bursts of running.   I run with traffic on Bank Ave, so people will see my posterior, allowing me to be quasi-anonymous.  Besides, the hypnotic boom-baba of my caboose is probably humorously relaxing.   Alas, all this jocular self-deprecating is for show.  I really don't care.  I'm in my late 30's and know who I am.  Whether I'm a zaftig booty-bearer running about or a slenderer version of same, I like me.


The secret to this is remembering how deceptive appearances can be.  Just because someone is slim, or stylish, or wealthy, or in a lofty position in society's eyes means nothing.  I am none of the previous descriptions, but live a life of joyful contentedness.  How do I do that?  Not easily, but prayerfully, reflectively.


It is best described in the book of 1 Samuel 16:7: "But the LORD said to Samuel, 'Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.' " With Christ in my heart, that's what God sees despite my imperfection, His Son.  What a relief!

That's why I am striving to grow and improve spiritually and intellectually in addition to improving my physical shape.  And should I fail to improve in the latter two, if my heart and soul are healthy, I am in excellent shape! .  No matter how I may look to the world as I lope around town, I am supremely happy and healthy.  That's invaluable.

TIME MACHINE

While taking a walk after dinner, I said something to my husband (Item #2 on the list) to which he replied "I never thought I'd hear you say that."  This got me thinking about all the things I have said that if you'd told me years ago were to come out of my mouth, I'd laugh and call you crazy.


All of these statements are things that underscore how change invades our lives, both uninvited and unwelcome, as well as invited and pursued.  Our experiences are fluid, changing one year to the next, and sometimes one moment to the next.


Following is the top ten list of things I NEVER thought I'd say....but DID. Some are paraphrased conversations, but some are exact quotes, and I am sure you will know which ones are which.  :-)


10 "As long as you live in my house..."
9   "I'm 37 and my daughter is a sophomore in college."
8   "I'm 37 and this is my newborn son."
7   "I just watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off and was torn about whether to root for him or the teachers."
6   "I'd like to downgrade my service and disconnect my Blackberry please."
5   "You guys were right...my daughter shouldn't have roomed with a friend at college."
4   "Poison control?  My 3 year old just ate superglue..."
3   "I LOVE MY MINIVAN."
2   "Why can't I run everyday?"
1   "Get baby Jesus out of your mouth."


None of these statements causes me any regret, just laughter at how cemented I was into my expectations of what my life would be like.  And heartier laughter at how my expectations were in many cases, totally ridiculous.  


With a grateful heart I have made each of the above statements and appreciate the circumstances surrounding them as lessons learned and memories made.  

OLD SCHOOL

I'm not that old, but I'm old school.  I believe in family dinners, hanging sheets on the line, hand-me-downs, brown-bagging it and BOOKS.  Real books. 


My dad, (best daddy on the planet), read to me incessantly when I was a little girl.  As a result, I was an early reader and developed a deep love for books.  I would play teacher as a kid (not rock star or superhero), and had an extensive and impressive collection of children's literature on a long bookshelf under my windowsill in my bedroom.  


In 1979, when I was a 6-year-old kindergartener, the unthinkable happened.  I got grounded...from my books.  My parents cleared the bookshelves in my room, packed them into a Raggedy Ann clothes hamper and kept them from me for what seemed a painfully long time.


What kind of parents would take BOOKS away from their kid?  Mine.  Not because they advocated illiteracy and stupidity, but because they wanted to hit me where it hurt - the bookshelf.  What infraction could bring on such a lavishly cruel punishment you ask?  I had drawn political graffiti on the back inside cover of my Children's Dictionary.  It was a crude drawing of an airplane and a stick figure shouting "Hey you guys, release the hostages!"  Yes, that's right, I was lobbying for the release of the hostages in the Iran Hostage Crisis of 1979. Go figure. 


All this shared here to establish my lifelong geekery and love of books.  I even turned it into a profession.  I am a professional nerd, a schoolmarm, a person who laughs at jokes about the various kinds of irony and uses words like "shenanigans", "rubbish", "hullabaloo" and "hooligan" in all seriousness when addressing my students (and children).


I love the smell of new books, the smell of old books, the secret pressed flowers and lost letters one can sometimes find in a tome bought at a yard sale.  I love the look of them on the shelf, arranging them sometimes by size, sometimes by author - oh the possibilities.


Perhaps that is why I agonized for months about whether or not to buy a Kindle.  What kind of new-fangled, fraudulent impostor is that for a book?  This is akin to my distrust of electronic calendars and my obsession with writing all my doings on a paper calendar planner.  You just can't replace books with electronic thingies and expect it to be the same.


But then I started doing my homework.  Reading reviews, doing highly scientific polls via Facebook with my friends, weighing the opinions of teachers against non-teachers.  Do you realize the Kindle is the same thickness as a PENCIL?  And can hold up to 3,500 books?  And the INK!  Amazon states that "Electronic ink screens work using ink, just like books and newspapers, but display the ink particles electronically."  


Actual ink moved around electronically?  What hath God wrought?  This is a step away from Jetsons stuff.  My research, coupled with my intense desire to carry around less crap at school, sealed the deal.  I marched myself to Target and bought one.  Yes, Target so that I wouldn't have to wait to play with it.  


Guess what?  It is pretty amazing.  I downloaded 16 books today, 13 of them for free.  I am going to kick it classical like never before.  I started one of the summer reading books today for the 12th graders and it was wonderful to use one hand to read and "flip pages" and wrangle a wiggling baby with the other hand.  I definitely think a mom can benefit from the one-handed operation feature of this incredible bit of technology.


Although I am very glad I made this decision, I will never give up real books and still prefer them (look, smell, feel, margins for jotting).  The Kindle is a great CHANGE I've been wanting to make and now I can check it off my proverbial hand-written list.  

CHASING MR. SOFTEE

I never was an athlete.  I mean, not even a little bit.  High school gym class required a mile run in a certain amount of time.  I had perfected a jog-esque shuffle, which was really just walking with a bit of arm pumping while yapping with friends as I rounded the track.


I joined the softball team at school in 1988 and went to my first practice.  It was drizzling and coach insisted we run the bases to warm up.


Me: "But it's raining Coach."
Coach: "Yeah, and?"
Me: "OK." (packs up and leaves, never to return)


Running in the rain?  What manner of medieval torture is that?  After an inglorious end to my inglorious career in high school sports, I found that band, chorus and drama club were more my speed (no pun intended).  Freaks and geeks were my comfort zone and I loved it.


HOBOKEN, NJ (Late 1990's)
My dear friend from high school had moved to Hoboken to start a job in the Big Apple with a division of Nickelodeon.  She was living the dream life - her own apartment in a cool little town just outside NYC.  I went up to visit overnight a few times while she lived there.


One time, I went up in March to see her.  We went out to dinner and to see The Full Monty.  What's the point of this?  Well, this is the last time I remember running before this past week.  You see, as I sat up in her little apartment the day after our night on the town, I heard the familiar refrain of a Mr. Softee truck in the distance.


Could it be?  Mr. Softee?  His first foray into the streets this year for sure.  It was only March.  Like an incredibly slow bolt of lightning, I flew in a pathetic run down the steps, out the door, down the stoop and onto a side street, chasing the metal box of dairy delights like a woman possessed.


Chocolate/vanilla twist with chocolate jimmies.  That was the fruit of my huffy puffy labor.  It was also the last time I ran anyplace.


APRIL 2010:  Couch to 5K?  What's that?  A training program that will make you a runner (at least of a 5K) in 10 weeks?  Mmmmm.  I'm sedentary, so that might be for me.  I mean, they mention a couch in the title right?  I'M GOING TO DO THAT.


Yeah right.  Late spring 2010 - PREGNANT!  After 16 months of trying, our 3rd and final child was on his way!  Praise the Lord, what a blessing.  Running on the back burner, like all my big ideas.


JUNE 2011:
C25K resurfaces in my mind.  This time I'm going to do it.  Really - not just talk about it and "like" the C25K page on Facebook.  


I downloaded (for free) some Podrunner tracks (tracks of music timed to train for C25K and signal the switches from walking to jogging).  You can find them here for free.  


I searched high and low in my house for my iPod, which had been forgotten in an unused purse and unearthed like the Sutton Hoo treasures.  It's amazing how you can find what was lost when you get in the mood to do so.


For the first time in a while, I laced up my $90 Saucony sneakers for the purpose of exercise.  They've only seen a little action in the 2 years I've had them.  They look cool though - very sporty.  With my long-lost iPod and the sheer will to stop being a slug, I set out.  


The electronica-type music was nice because there are no lyrics and the cadence helps you fall into step. I walked, I jogged, I huffed, I puffed.  At the end of 26 minutes, I arrived home - successful.  I didn't walk when I should have run.  I didn't sit down or stop for a Boost during the session.  I just DID IT.  Ah - a change for me.  


Since then, I have done session 2 of week 1 and plan on doing session 3 today.  Truth be told, I am actually looking forward to today's session and may sneak a 4th in this week - JUST FOR KICKS.  Really!  Me, the sluggard, becoming an Exercise Maven?  I know, you can't be a maven after doing something twice but I would like to be a maven.


As I train and learn to be fit, if I hear Mr. Softee, I will simply run the other way this time.

CHANGE? YUCK.

CHANGES in song...listen!


I am a mom, a wife and work full time.  I'm a high school teacher.
I like to think of myself as progressive, someone flexible and fast-learning and able to go with the flow.  However, the truth is, at times I find change uncomfortable. I am resilient, but that doesn't mean I like it.  I cozy up with what's safe and comfortable and get into a rut.  Oh what a comfy yet stale rut it is.


What's the fallout of that?  A life that becomes disorganized and boring because of bad habits and a lack of time and energy to break out and make positive change.


Well, not anymore.  I had a chat with myself when I was pregnant with my son, who was born in February 2011.  I told myself, the gestationally diabetic, tired, huffing and puffing self that all the "I'm gonnas" regarding losing weight had to end.  Now it was serious!  Gestational diabetes, which is purely hormonal and not related to diet, can increase the risk of Type 2 diabetes later in life.  That is just plain unacceptable.  I don't want diabetes full time.  I don't want to be overweight and tired and hiding and joking about it to somehow make it less serious.  I want to be healthy and live as long as possible to see my children grow up and become productive citizens.


The other conversation I had with myself was about my general lack of discipline and organization in my spiritual life, work life, my home life and my financial life.  Good intentions?  Plenty.  Previous attempts to be more organized and a better steward of my time, resources and money?  Tons.  Follow through to make it a new and lasting habit?  Nada.


By serendipity, I seem to be working on changing many areas of my life at one time.  This seems overwhelming, crazy, even foolish.  But for me, it makes sense.  It is all connected.  The need for discipline and organization is what requires change.  


I plan to share my journey of change in the areas of personal health, finances, domestic upkeep and the like.  I hope you will join me, a regular person, as I make changes, permanent changes, that will increase my ability to enjoy life and live out the purpose and plan that God has for my life.  As I continue on this project of personal overhaul, I am believing Phillipians 4:13 "I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."