SHAKE RATTLE AND ROLL

Shake Rattle and Roll (CLICK ME)

I've noticed a few things lately, namely less shake, rattle and roll.  I mean the shaking of flab, the rattling of my old bones cracking and creaking every time I move or get up.  And the rolls...oh the rolls - they are slowing shrinking...slowly.

Yeah, that was me, nonchalantly feeling my own butt cheek last week when I was doing my cool down walk in week 8 of C25K.  Why you ask?  Because I noticed as I was walking that it (my junk in the trunk) didn't seem to be shaking and wobbling with the same gelatinous fervor as before.  It was the first time I'd realized this since having my son.  I felt a little firm and toned even.  Now I wouldn't say you could bounce a quarter off of any part of my body just yet, but my calves and quads have also definitely gained some firmness.  My rolls are melting gradually, sort of like a great glacier of flab that erodes over time.  I just hope it doesn't take a million years.

My new idea, still in the conceptual phase, is to do some form of arm and ab work on my non-running days.  This is a fancy way of saying that I just didn't start yet, for no reason other than I am dreading and avoiding it.  However, just like with running, it is something I may find pleasantly useful and productive once I begin.  I am not a gym person, nor will I ever be, so I intend to milk the most out of my Comcast fees and use the Exercise TV Yoga, etc. I located on there some months ago.

It is surreal to see physical change begin to mirror the changes you experience on the inside.  I feel better and more confident, and I am, albeit slowly, beginning to look different too.  Now if I could just tame my inner carboholic, I would really be in business.

Stay sweaty my friends.

BECOMING

"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:19


SATURDAY - 8/13/11


Fear, doubt, frustration.  Today they were hounding me.  I am still on my personal mission to change several key areas of my life including my diet, fitness, housekeeping habits/organization and spiritual development.  I like to keep my posts positive, but I am sharing my reality, which has been one of unrest and intermittent pessimism in the past week or so.

I woke up today knowing I was supposed to do my run.  I could have done it yesterday but my sore knee has been a bit annoying.  For those who aren't aware, I bit the pavement pretty hard on 8/3 while on vacation.  For those of you who live under a rock, I am a celebrated faller.  I was in National Harbor, MD and was doing week 7, day 3 of C25K when I stumbled on some shallow stairs down by the waterfront.  My left knee slammed down on a metal grate surrounding a tree and looked like someone put a panini press to it.  It was a series of scabby stripes for at least a week.  That put me behind in my training for the 5K I am doing on 9/10.  It is also when I started allowing fear, doubt and frustration to start nipping at my heels.

I did NOT want to go this morning.  I was tired, feeling generally slow, heavy, incapable and ridiculous. I went, and struggled hard for the last 10 minutes or so of the 28 minute run interval today.  I ran past a lady in a wheelchair and another shuffling along Bank Avenue with her walker, which made me feel both pathetic and inspired at the same time.  I mean, if women with ambulatory issues who are almost 3 times my age get get out and about, surely my pitiful behind could do the session today right?  I just felt fat, foolish and defeated today.  It wasn't fun.  It also isn't the only area I've been having concern with lately.

I return to work full time on 9/1 and have had mounting worries that I won't be able to maintain or finish anything I've started.  Here's my list of things I am currently fretting over:

*  Leaving my beautiful babies and going back to the job.

*  Finishing the C25K program with enough endurance to run and complete my race on 9/10

*  Finishing the cleaning/organizing of my house before 9/1 so that I am not living like a slob and being overwhelmed the whole school year with my own inability to keep things neat and organized.

*  Not losing all the weight I'd like, getting down to an ideal/healthy weight and size.

*  Slipping out of the habit of doing my devotions and bible study due to a lack of discipline and hectic schedule once back to work.

*  Not having enough time and energy to give my kids and husband all the attention they deserve when working again full time.

I am usually not a person who suffers from a case of "I Can't".  I get excited and optimistic when doing something new and look forward to becoming better and achieving something.  Imagine - my Teacher Nightmares haven't even started yet (typically late August they begin - and yes - I mean real nightmares of all the mishaps and problems a teacher can encounter).  Here I am with 2 whole weeks left of summer and I'm worrying myself silly.

All this to say that I got to thinking about the concept of "becoming" and how it is a process.  My house is neater than it was 6 months ago.  My fitness level is much better too than it was only 8 weeks ago.  My spiritual life is much better due to almost daily quiet time in the Word (striving for daily).  I am getting to spend time with my children and just be their mom and have fun.  All these are good things - me becoming better than I was before.


It is true what they say - there's always room for improvement.  As long as I continue the process of becoming, I will vow to feel good about any small step in the right direction.