I don't wear them firstly because they are cumbersome and seem to jiggle too much. If there's any jiggling on my person I CAN control, I shall. I also somehow believe that if I can't see clearly, other people can't see me lumbering about town. Besides, when I shed my glasses, I can only see the Big Picture more clearly. The river, the scenery, the neighborhoods become an entity rather than a series of smaller details. Much like my quest for change, where I don't want to become overwhelmed with the details, I can only see each step ahead of me without my glasses. When I look further, I see cohesive beauty.
When following the Podrunner tracks, I use the century-old alleyways in town to spare the public the image of my rubenesque figure enduring short bursts of running. I run with traffic on Bank Ave, so people will see my posterior, allowing me to be quasi-anonymous. Besides, the hypnotic boom-baba of my caboose is probably humorously relaxing. Alas, all this jocular self-deprecating is for show. I really don't care. I'm in my late 30's and know who I am. Whether I'm a zaftig booty-bearer running about or a slenderer version of same, I like me.
The secret to this is remembering how deceptive appearances can be. Just because someone is slim, or stylish, or wealthy, or in a lofty position in society's eyes means nothing. I am none of the previous descriptions, but live a life of joyful contentedness. How do I do that? Not easily, but prayerfully, reflectively.
It is best described in the book of 1 Samuel 16:7: "But the LORD said to Samuel, 'Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.' " With Christ in my heart, that's what God sees despite my imperfection, His Son. What a relief!
You are making me want to blog too! I am so happy to read about your "season of change"...even though I always thought you were great just as you are!
ReplyDeleteI think it's great to be so self reflective and confident, even when trying to grow and to challenge yourself with something new. We all feel out of our element at times. I really think it's the people who don't take chances for fear of looking silly who miss out on the joys of life.
Don't forget, I want to run with you some time! I'm always the slowest girl on the treadmill, and I crank up my Rocky soundtrack so loudly on my ipod...I know everyone can hear it...and I don't care! Flying high now....!!!!! I run up the museum steps in my mind every time! haha!
But you are moving. A mom in a healthy body is better than one in a not so healthy body - speaking from the experience of losing my dad a few years ago in his not so healthy body. And speaking like someone who has NOT yet taken her shakin booty on the street and berate myself for it as well. Loving your blog. Keep up the great work.
ReplyDeleteSo mad just lost my post: Let's try this again.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog and after reading this the next morning I went out for a jog. I too have been sporting my glasses lately. As I started running I remembered your post and decided to shed the glasses for a bit. Reflecting on what you wrote I felt in my run something was missing. After about 1/2mile I decided to put my glasses back on and realized that was what was missing. It is amazing how everyone is different. What I like about my morning run is the detail. I love the textures, sound and sights of God's great earth. In order for me to see the big picture I need the details or it all blurs together and I do not have a beginning or end. Thanks for making me take of my glasses to SEE!!! I am reclaiming this 2 1/2 yr post baby body to fit before 40!!!